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Watching porn is a rite of passage for most men. It begins with several visuals, like this proverbial Playboy magazine a group of friends passes around well before they are old enough to know what it all means. Eventually a man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. In fact, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might become a man’s first foray into figuring out good penis care.

But when a man begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside the screen, he is all too often disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bed room. For the uninitiated, below are a few things to never actually expect to translate from the screen to the bedroom.

1) Perfect bodies. All of the participants in a porn video are usually very young and healthy. And if they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to cover any flaws. The result is the belief that a woman should look a particular way, and a man should too. That may definitely result in disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn have become rarely seen in a flaccid state. As soon as a woman walks over the screen, they are hard enough to crush diamonds. The simple truth is that most porn productions work with a ‘fluffer’ – a female whose only job would be to get yourself a man hard before he walks onscreen. What is apparently ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Women in porn seem to feel as if every touch is orgasmic, and they may actually have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The simple truth is very different. Women usually require a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than simply a few seconds, to get turned on – much less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled up with aural stimulation, which is section of why most guys think it’s great so much. And who wouldn’t? The problem is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that between the sheets. Sure, they could be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film will not likely be replicated in the bed room.

5) Money shots. Here’s a fascinating stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of the time. Quite often they do it on her body or mostly, her face. The thing is that 80 percent of women in true to life report not liking that particular move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? A similar thing is true of a woman who is able to do wild things in porn, like anal sex without any preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the situation has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t expect to replicate things like this!

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